YES!FUCK YES!
:)
walketh forward ho!

bruised and battered? i dont think so..

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

.

clouds.dark.really dark.

Blue Skies
Noah and the Whale


This is a song for anyone
With a broken heart
This is a song for anyone
Who can't get out of bed

I'll do anything
To be happy
Oh cause blue skies are calling
But I know that it's hard

This is the last song
That I write
While still in love with you

This is the last song
That I write
While you're even on my mind

Cause it's time to leave
Those feelings behind
Oh cause blue skies are calling
But I know that it's hard

I don't think that it's the end
But I know we can't keep going
I don't think that it's the end
But I know we can't keep going

But blue skies are calling
Oh yeah blue skies are calling
Oh blue skies are calling
But I know that it's hard

A level of status. Typically used in reference to being physically, mentally, morally/ asthetically, performance-wise, or even theoretically damaged in some way. It, in and of itself has many gradient levels, such as 'slightly fucked up', or 'extremely fucked up', but all versions have to do with describing the level of damage. A wonderfully universal root word, to be sure.
1. (physical): "Ow! Man, I just fucked up my thumb by slamming it with my hammer!"
2. (mentally): "That chick is SO fucked up, she ate a full ounce of magic mushrooms!"
3. (morally/ asthetically): "See that landscaping feature? Now THAT is fucked up! Anyone with half a brain wouldn't do that!"
4. (performance-wise): "This horse's lap time is so fucked up, I could wak around the track faster than him!"
5. (theoretically): "Naw, man...that would be so fucked up if you did that!"

why do people lead a fake life? a life which they show to people and the one they keep inside...whats the use of it? why do people live for others or what they think ?
why cant people be just normal humans ? why do they live a life they were told not to but they want to anyway and then feel weird about it? how do people lead such a life anyway? how can one live in denial all his life? one can never lie to himself right?
if you cant fool yourself how can you live like that for so long...how can it go on and on....how can u not have cancer if u smoke cigs everyday ...how? why cant people be real people?

you dont want to have what u have and you want to have what u dont have

yeh ...sup..

its 3 30 am lol i can never sleep like a normal person
i m just messed up.
effed up in the head.

the seconds arm ticks and goes on ...changing the day...changing the year..moving on and it doesnt come back...no moment comes back...it happens and thats it.
its a one way road ...you dont get to change what you did.
i am not sure why we would like to change it then..
this whole world with so many people but not one can say there life is as they want it to be...
whats the purpose of such a life? a life which doesnt lead to anything conclusive?
why do i think what i think.
why cannot it be controlled? why did i do what i did? why do i think that it could be the same way again? why do i hope to reverse the clock?

confused beginnings

back again... Yea I am not so good with blogs...
Back again after a long time...

Lots of things learned and experiences encountered. Yeah I had a wonderful time and something I'll keep with myself all my life. :)
it felt really good ...a sense of accomplishment when i flipped over the packet of my passport. there was no letter.

just a stamp of approval ...of life... of achievement.
and so it was.

They make you learn geography and names of countries and places ...newfoundland, perth and the scandinivia but you have no idea what it actually is all about..
for you it's just another chapter and another portion of text to be crammed up in the head which feels like it has no real value or importance ever.

They never teach you the real consequences of information ....all through you're education...that disillusionment...
Butonce you actually end up realising once a while you REALLY feel good. you feel good that you knew.

Seeing the plane land in a different country...the meaning of a world outside your city ....how things can be different...its truly something else...not that they are better or india is worse ...thats completely different but the whole sense of a world outside your world...
so many people living their own lives with their own social circles and their own issues...its just makes you wonder ...you're like a small fish in the pond...

There's so much to do in this world ...so many things to see...so many people to meet and you can never have enough
but everybody is not thinking like that...people have a life and they live it...
generations live out in the same place...they are just there all their lives...contended. I dont know how. It's a confusing feeling.

Life is such a kaleidoscope.
for it holds a power of exploration. There are so many people in this world and over generations have evolved to do things so different and yet so aligned to the basic necessities. There are scientists who have developed theories which the next generations will read and admire. There are musicians who will hit those riffs or the beauty of music, the essence of lyrics and compositions of instruments to make those pieces of art for people to admire for all times to come. There are artists who's admiration for all that combined in this world, the nature, or how the flower blooms is exquisite. The evolution of nature, the species, the adaptation of life. It's all so exquisite. Don't you wish you were part of it all?
Wouldn't you want to enjoy those things of life and reach up to your aims monetarily?
What is it that stops then you then?
Why can't you work on them? why do you have to admire Jeff Beck for his skills but not able to work 16 hours to practise them on your own?
Is it that your not committed enough or you Want to do it but you still dont do it.
What can be the possible reason for it?
What is that makes you think you want to be there or not?
how does the average person and not being an average person equation work on an individual level?
what is the difference of achieveing that level and wanting to achieve that level? The curiousity of it all, its all very confusing and bewildering ,atleast for me, for I cannot find answers but only ask myself more questions, all unanswered.

FUCK FUCK FUCK YES!!!!!!!!

I did not give up mr officer.:D

GOT IT!

Sometimes things can affect you so profoundly that you could try to run as far as possible but a thing as innocent as a dream can expose your futile effort.

i am not giving up, mr.officer

Life of Zen

Theres a question that makes you ponder why and how the character of a person is molded into a particular shape. How does it happen to take a stance on subjects over the years. How it can vary to a considerable extent and how can people decide whether they like a particular trait out of the whole character.
The best part is how people do not actually decide to look into the whole character but base their assumptions as to the way they want to beleive it ( isnt that a prejudiced approach on it's own but even if they person knows it is,isnt he supposed to change it? ...or maybe the case of doing the right thing is what we're looking at here and well i m not sure if people give a damn on whether its right or not? )
If one would like to base the assumptions on a single trait which is biased in the first place, why would you want to poke in the matter anyway?

Throughout our education system, we are told about doing the right thing or the development of logic in order to make us adept in finding out the right if the situation is new to us...but in society, these moral policies dont actually work.
Why does nobody want to follow them? why are they taught anyway?
Why is it taught to pull out a chair for a woman when the person who does it is considered "easy"
The society is built up on the fact as to how you're supposed to not listen to the right things and the society itself punishes you when you dont do the right things?
Sense Hypocrisy?

Why does nobody want to talk out load? Why is doing the right thing a wrong thing?

there are miles to go before i sleep.....

Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground
And start new when your heart is an empty room
With walls of the deepest blue

Homes' face how it ages when you're away
Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago

And all you see
is where else you could be
when you're at home
And out on the street
are so many possibilities
to not be alone

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window
And disappeared with everything that you held dear
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need
Cause you knew you were finally free

Cause all you see
is where else you could be
when you're at home
Out on the street
are so many possibilities
to not be alone

And all you see
is where else you could be
when you're at home
And out on the street
are so many possibilities
to not be alone

Forms of expression

You know it makes me wonder what's the use of feelings?
Are feelings really there for everybody else than the person itself?
I mean how does it matter if I feel happy or sad if nobody else knows when I am happy or sad.
How does it change anything for I might think something to myself and then later change to something else? It was left to myself...so it didnt affect anything in this world. Expressions are for everybody else...like this blog.
I might want to type in what all I think but what's the point?
Like I asked somebody the other day...blogs arent for myself they are for somebody else because they are a form of expression
Now feelings are expressive in their own way and even if i feel happy right now how does it really matter?
Should it make you sad that even though your mood might change but it doesnt affect anybody or you really dont know what to do with it?
Should you not feel anything that your life is not being shared or would you want it to be shared?
You might want to express your feelings but you dont want it to blow all over the place the next morning...
so its a case of wanting and not wanting at the same time.
In all of this I really dont know why it should affect me or anybody else for that matter.
Maybe I am so used to telling things that it does.
Ah well...music.

There is so much to learn.
Endless amount of knowledge to be gained.
Too less a time to remain sane.
Too less a time to be a human being and still do your thing.
Too less a time to do things others want you to do and also do the thing you want to do.
Too less a time to do all the things in your life and to continue the quest for information.

Freebird

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
Well I must be travellin' on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see
If I stay here with you girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change

Oh…
And the bird you cannot change
And this bird you cannot change
Lord knows I can't change

Bye, bye baby it's been sweet love, yeah,
Though this feeling I can't change
Please don't take it so badly
'Cause the Lord knows I'm to blame
If I stay here with you girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change

If you have realised one peculiarity about things in life in general or through the studies in your school and out into college is the laws of equilibrium.
How lot of things obey the basic nature to be in the same state relatively or to be in the lowest state possible.
Balance.
thats the word we are looking for here.
Balance is one word we are constantly coming to terms with. Now coming back to the question of being contended.
One shouldnt be contended because it acts as inpiration but one should be contended to be happy to have what he has. Now if you disturb the balance, you're in for trouble.
Like you'll be doomed if you disturb the balance of greenhouse gases or you disturb the balanced mechanisms in your lab or whatever it may be.
You mess with equilibrium and it fucks you up....
Now if that thing is so important why don't we see more people trying to follow up?
I guess common sense is really an issue here or maybe it depends on perception.
For balance might mean different things to different people. Now even if thats true, is there no global definition to it? and if there isn't then why do your parents always highlight the fact as to how their offsprings are not balanced.
How does one tend to realise the definition of balance as applied to themselves?
Is it how their percieve their environment or how has the environment molded them?
I guess we ended up with more questions than we answered but then again philosophy is such...

Confusion?Indecision?Worry?
Troubled by those words?
Do you ever feel contended by what you do? Do you NEED to feel contended?
Do you feel like you can always have something to make you to not content?
Is it good not to be contended or the other way around?
Do you ever think on these lines?

Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If'n you don't know by now
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do some how
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
But don't think twice, it's all right

An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
The light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
But don't think twice, it's all right

So it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never done before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin', walkin' down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

So long, honey baby
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say, "fare thee well"
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

so do you like to procrastinate?
Do you like to sit back when you know you could do a hundred things?
how many times are you successful in doing something in the end and not delaying it any further?
what would be the percentage? is it more than 50?
then you should be happy bout it...

group debate stuff

Indian Education System: 60 years of stifling real thought

Standing in the auditorium of the first Indian Institute of Technology, Jawahar Lal Nehru addressed the crowd and said, “Here stands the fine monument of India, representing India's urges, India's future in the making. This picture seems to me symbolical of the changes that are coming to India.”

Today after more than sixty years of their existence, they are still trying to figure out the symbolism. Do they symbolize the frustrated youth who give up on the country and leave for better education? Do they symbolize for the better facilities which rank them nowhere on the global scale or is it the grossly outdated curriculum being pursued for generations. I am sure our first prime minister did not have that on his mind when he made that uplifting speech.

Over half a century has passed since then and we have ridiculously molded the meaning of education to suit our lazy attitudes towards it all. The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think - rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with thoughts of other men. The Indian Education system has stifled this real thought, the thought that education should encourage the process of our curious intellect. The method of instruction has become such that it single handedly strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry. The domain of knowledge is to revolve around the teacher’s will and anybody who’s found straying is discouraged to the point that he gives up and learns to follow the “right procedure”. The procedure of rote learning and clearing examinations, which have become by far the single most important criterion to determine intelligence in this country.

“And as Albert Einstein said long before, We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”

“We are faced with the paradoxical fact that education has become one of the chief obstacles to intelligence and freedom of thought”

A narrow approach to education has resulted in such a system that it professes no love for creativity. A system which leaves nothing open to exploration. As a consequence, students are brought up in such an environment that eventually leads them to decide within pre-conceived boundaries. The society also has led itself to believe that they can set the quality of an individual’s intellect by deciding which field he’s in. For being an engineer or a doctor puts you in category A, and anything else downgrades you to a person with seriously too much free time on his hands. Only if that wasn’t true enough for the category A in the first place.

Also if one would like to blame the population for his or her hapless situation, I would beg to differ. Our country has an immense pool of talent, those individuals who have honed their skills through intense competition and hard labor. For they are ready to work 18 hours a day to get closer to their aims. Such a ruthless environment has made them intrepid, ready to tackle any obstacles. Let’s face it. The fact of the matter remains that the only reason we might prepare for entrance examinations or our grades in college is to get a letter saying you’re hired. The education system has done nothing to elevate your value. Only being in this country has developed your set of skills to take up a task and strive for it. Imagine if the system were to play a bigger role in this process. It think it would make this country unbeatable.

Violin

Have you been in situations which ended up giving you a high?
The word 'high' is subjectively used to loosely define the domain of anything that makes you thrilled and/or giving you goosebumps. It can be pretty much anything and depends on your interests but I hope you're not somebody who hasn't have had the exquisite experience of having that kind of feeling.

Well I am listening to this song, One more cup of coffee by bob dylan and it's got me thinking of a Feel instrument. The violin. Such a powerful instrument. Few strings and so much passion put into a continuous function of sounds that touches you right there. You can close your eyes and feel that amazing feeling passing inside you. That goosebumps sort of feeling that gives you a shiver.
It's an amazing sound, so real and so clear It sort of speaks to you. One of most amazing times i ve had is listening to a violin solo live in concert. That was pretty amazing. It makes you aware of the fact as to how much power that can withhold.
People have used to all sorts of techniques to inspire people to go to war,pursue riots, rise in revolution and music has definitely been part of it all. It touches that nerve that makes you tick. That pain or thrill in the sound of music. That feeling that tingles you. That sensation that can make the dormant part of you rise to something which might not be close to you would have imagined doing in your wildest dreams. Another thing that makes us human and anothing that that forms part of the complex world of feelings.

Feelings Part I

One of the most amazing and complex mechanism is of feelings and their connection to the thought process. Feelings that make us human. When you come out of the womb, the process is self-initiated. Therein, begins the life long journey of comprehending emotions and then re-enacting them in your life. People do understand the significance of such a thing and do all sorts of gimmicks to test your emotional quotient and what not.
Now what is most amazing about emotions is that they aren't very consciously developed. I am sure you didnt have to think to start loving your mom.
The best thing that has makes me think about this is the game called SIMS. If you haven't played this unusually addictive game, I'll summarize the gameplay for you. What you have to do is control people and their day to day activities and achieve some certain objectives to go higher up. Now I remember if i would talk to a person, he'd show a heart and his emotional attachment to that person increased or if he would stand in front of the mirror, his confidence could be increased so as to prepare for the job interview the next day.
You know it actually is that simple. Well we are trying to simplify it and not creating any paradox about it being complicated or simplistic in nature.

You can recall any incidence that has happened in your life just like that, and it can affect your mood to any extremes. It defies logic. You might not want it to change your mood but then it's not in your hands. You know objects are always in sort of an equilibrium-dynamic and static. Brain would definitely be a dynamic equilibrium. A pseudo equilibrium. It listen's to all parameters in the environment and processes. Processes and processes all the time. Even when your sleeping the events might as well be ordered or disordered into some sort of way. That might explain how you end up having dreams or nightmares. Atleast for me, anything that I have been thinking Too much about usually ends up in a dream too and mostly on the same night.

And three more days of futility are about to come to a close.
Thought of the period:
It doesn't matter whether you are topping from the top or the bottom, either of them have no shitty idea of what they just read.

Kaleidoscope

Do you need an outlet? A place where you're not bound by the invisible shackles formed. The shackles which finally move into place and bind you in. Did the walls in your room get tired of hearing your brain think? Did the fusion of instruments release you temporarily. But you still needed a greater outlet.
An outlet where you don't need to be accountable for anything. An outlet where you wouldn't need to be held responsible for the things said even though the things unsaid would spill. Did u kiss blarney's stone in your dreams? Did your teacher ever catch you for speaking too much? Do you feel lightened by that outburst of thoughts in your class. Did the kaleidoscope of thoughts finally get to you.
then Happy blogging.

Welcome.

Hey.Blogosphere beckons. Sooner or later, I would've ended up here anyway.