A level of status. Typically used in reference to being physically, mentally, morally/ asthetically, performance-wise, or even theoretically damaged in some way. It, in and of itself has many gradient levels, such as 'slightly fucked up', or 'extremely fucked up', but all versions have to do with describing the level of damage. A wonderfully universal root word, to be sure.
1. (physical): "Ow! Man, I just fucked up my thumb by slamming it with my hammer!"
2. (mentally): "That chick is SO fucked up, she ate a full ounce of magic mushrooms!"
3. (morally/ asthetically): "See that landscaping feature? Now THAT is fucked up! Anyone with half a brain wouldn't do that!"
4. (performance-wise): "This horse's lap time is so fucked up, I could wak around the track faster than him!"
5. (theoretically): "Naw, man...that would be so fucked up if you did that!"

why do people lead a fake life? a life which they show to people and the one they keep inside...whats the use of it? why do people live for others or what they think ?
why cant people be just normal humans ? why do they live a life they were told not to but they want to anyway and then feel weird about it? how do people lead such a life anyway? how can one live in denial all his life? one can never lie to himself right?
if you cant fool yourself how can you live like that for so long...how can it go on and on....how can u not have cancer if u smoke cigs everyday ...how? why cant people be real people?

you dont want to have what u have and you want to have what u dont have

yeh ...sup..

its 3 30 am lol i can never sleep like a normal person
i m just messed up.
effed up in the head.

the seconds arm ticks and goes on ...changing the day...changing the year..moving on and it doesnt come back...no moment comes back...it happens and thats it.
its a one way road ...you dont get to change what you did.
i am not sure why we would like to change it then..
this whole world with so many people but not one can say there life is as they want it to be...
whats the purpose of such a life? a life which doesnt lead to anything conclusive?
why do i think what i think.
why cannot it be controlled? why did i do what i did? why do i think that it could be the same way again? why do i hope to reverse the clock?

confused beginnings

back again... Yea I am not so good with blogs...
Back again after a long time...

Lots of things learned and experiences encountered. Yeah I had a wonderful time and something I'll keep with myself all my life. :)
it felt really good ...a sense of accomplishment when i flipped over the packet of my passport. there was no letter.

just a stamp of approval ...of life... of achievement.
and so it was.

They make you learn geography and names of countries and places ...newfoundland, perth and the scandinivia but you have no idea what it actually is all about..
for you it's just another chapter and another portion of text to be crammed up in the head which feels like it has no real value or importance ever.

They never teach you the real consequences of information ....all through you're education...that disillusionment...
Butonce you actually end up realising once a while you REALLY feel good. you feel good that you knew.

Seeing the plane land in a different country...the meaning of a world outside your city ....how things can be different...its truly something else...not that they are better or india is worse ...thats completely different but the whole sense of a world outside your world...
so many people living their own lives with their own social circles and their own issues...its just makes you wonder ...you're like a small fish in the pond...

There's so much to do in this world ...so many things to see...so many people to meet and you can never have enough
but everybody is not thinking like that...people have a life and they live it...
generations live out in the same place...they are just there all their lives...contended. I dont know how. It's a confusing feeling.